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"The Thing That Never Was"

By Vsevolod Mikhailovich Garshin

Translated by Alexander Lapin, Marina Rassoha and Sergey Zubritskiy
Spring 2000

Chief:
It was a fine July day - the day was fine because it was 28 degrees on Reamers, and it was very hot, especially hot under the thick cherry tree, which was apart from the wind. Everyone was nearly asleep, and people ate plenty and did side work. Birds fell silent, and even many insects hid from the heat. There was nothing different about domestic animals: large and small cattle hid under sheds; the dog, which dug a hole, lay there and breathed intermittently. Sometimes it yawned so loud that there was a sound. A mother pig with 30 children lay in the slush. Only the chickens were not afraid of the heat. They raked the land, although they knew there was no grain, and the cock made a silly expression and always shouted:

Cock:
What a scandal!!!

Chief:
We left the glade, where it was hot, and where was seated a whole community which stayed awake. But not all of them sat:
Under a cherry-tree gathered a small, but very serious company:

  • Helix
  • Dung-beetle
  • Lizard
  • Aforementioned caterpillar
  • Grasshopper
  • Nearby was a horse
  • And an ant.
The little gathering had a polite and animated discussion in connection with how to be. But nobody agreed with anyone because everyone valued independence of opinion and nature.

Dung-beetle:
My opinion is that respectable animals must take care of their own posterity. Life is work for future generations. The person who knowingly fulfils their duties stands on firm land: he knows his business, and he'll never be responsible for it. Look at me. Who does larger work than me? Who rolls out such a big ball that is made of dung? I think that anybody with a clear conscience and a clear heart can say: "Yes, I've done everything that I can, and did what I had to do" I could say it without hesitation when my children were born. This is labour!

Ant:
Go away, my brother, with your labour. I work more than you. You work only for yourself or for your children, but you are not so happy. Would you like to try to carry the logs for treasury as I do? Actually I don't know why I work so hard without rest even in such heat. Nobody thanks me. We are unhappy ant workers; we always work. But what is good in our lives? It's fate!

Grasshopper:
You dung-beetles are so pessimistic, and you look so gloomily at existence. But I like to chirr and to jump without a twinge of conscience. Besides, you said nothing about the question: "What is the universe?" but you spoke about your dung ball. It's not polite at all. The universe for me is a very good thing if there is young, green grass, sun and wind. And the world is so big! You couldn't imagine how big it is. Sometimes when I'm in the field I jump up so high, as only I can. I assure you that I reach huge heights. From there I see that there is no ending to the world.

Bay:
That's right. But none of you have seen even 100th part of what I've seen. It's a pity that you can't imagine what is a mile. I go that far everyday for water, but nobody feeds me there. Also, there are Efimovka and Kislaynovka; there are churches with bells. Then there is Svayto-Troitskie, and then Bogoyavlensk. In Bogoyavlensk, I'm always given food, but it's very bad. And in Nikolaev, which is 28 miles away, the straw is better, but I don't like to go there because the coachman beats me…and there are Aleksandrovka, Belozerka and Xerson cities also. To my mind, it is a great part of the world.

Helix:
I don't understand your clever horse words, and, I confess, I don't run for them. If I had a leaf of burdock- it would be great. For example, I crept for four days and can't see the end of this leaf. I can see another burdock; there could be another helix. There you go. And I don't need to jump - that's all invention and nonsense. Just sit and eat your leaf. If I was not so lazy, I would go away from you with your conversation. I have a headache and nothing more.

Grasshopper:
Allow me to ask - why so? To crackle is very pleasant, especially about such good things as endlessness and so on. Certainly, there are practical natures that don't care how to stuff their stomachs like you or this charming caterpillar…

Caterpillar:
Ah! No! Please don't disturb me, leave me alone! I do it for my future life, only for it.

Bay:
For what future life?

Caterpillar:
Didn't you know that after my death I'll be a butterfly with many coloured wings?

Grasshopper:
We must treat firm conviction with respect. Does anybody wants to say something more? Maybe you want…?

Flies:
We cannot say that we have heard. We just came from a room. A lady placed jam in dishes, and we got under the lid and ate plenty of it. We are pleased. Our Mammy got bogged down in jam, but what can we do about it? She lived enough in this world. And we are pleased.

Lizard:
Ladies and gentlemen, I think that you are absolutely right. But, for another side …

Chief:
But the lizard didn't say what was from another side because she felt something smash her tail to the land. The coachman Anton had arrived. He tread on the whole community and smashed it by accident. Only the flies flew away to their dead mother and the lizard ran away with its ruined tail. Anton took the bay from the garden and said:

Anton:
Get up! Let's go!

Chief:
And the lizard lived without her tail. Actually, the tail grew back for some time. But it remained blunt and black. And when the lizard was asked how she damaged her tail, she modestly answered:

Lizard:
Somebody broke my tail off because I tried to tell the truth!

Chief:
And she was absolutely right.